 |
|
•
|
features  articlessexy
spreadsnewslifestyles transsexualscrossdressingtransformationsftmpower
exchangeeros bits sound
offspecialty
shopping diva's debaucherysexual intelligence
reviewsON THE TOWN clubs
& eventsEROS TVTS PHOTO CLASSIFIED ADS ABOUT EROS ZINE
Sponsored Links
|
When I shuffle through the stuff that comes over my transom and try to decide what to review, it's tough not to judge DVDs by their covers. I grabbed this one along with Potty Mouth in hopes of getting "either a lot of dirty talk, sex in sleazy bathrooms or both." While Potty Mouth was a bit of a disappointment, this one here is exactly what I was looking for: slutty girls with filthy mouths and smeared makeup, on their knees sucking cock. Huzzah! With Scurvy Girls, Punx Productions provides five fabulous scenes of drooling, gagging porn slags. This is Volume 2; I may have to dig around in my stacks for Volume 1! Before I even get into the action, let me say that four out of the five porn stars here have real tits, which, as my regular readers know, is always a huge selling point for me. Another one of my higher-excitement quotients is an original soundtrack, especially when it's something other than the usual whocka-whocka. In this case, the music is all punk rock-even better! And of course, the mere fact that this is Gen Y porn, with tattooed dudes, as opposed to the same ol' stunt cocks, makes it even MORE palatable. Okay, maybe palatable is too classy a word; let's say wankable! And now, on with the sex!
Scene two's slag wasn't so easy on the eyes; she got pretty bad skin but she's flawless from the neck down. She co-stars with Jay Ashley, a flash from the past that I chortled about in Potty Mouth. In a wacky, samba-y hookery scenario, he forces her to suck his cock. This bitch is loud! And, oy, the phlegm! I'll admit, I pressed Pause when he hoisted her into the air for a Herculean 69. Whoa! After greedily gobbling his jizz, she spits it out and lets it dribble down her tit. Okay! The Barely Legal babe in scene three starts out with perfect makeup but after gagging on Tracy's dick it's all running down her face. Smeared makeup? Check! His cock is huge and he really crams it in. However, when he has her bent over on a foot locker, slamming into her milky white ass, it's a shame he's not quite as hard as he could be. No matter…she whines convincingly and oh, that face of hers! The way her beautiful hazel eyes gaze up at this goon will break your heart! Er, your zipper… Logan James sports stripey socks, a see-through shirt and no panties as she smashes a bunch of TVs in scene four. Huh? Oh, I get it. PUNK ROCK! She's paired with our dear director, Mr. Rotten, who has the most distracting tattoo in porn: the word POISON down the shaft of his cock. He services Ms. James QUITE well, in fact, possibly the best servicing I've seen in porn movie memory. This guy's prick is a thing of beauty. Seriously! (Hmm, perhaps I could get myself a co-starring role in a future Scurvy Girls?) They appear to have a pleasant rapport; I can't quite describe it…or why. When you see an extreme close-up of her mouth making love to his dick, well, it's true romance! And, ohhhh, man! The money shot! The way he holds his cock when he comes! Gimme a minute… …Okay, where was I? Oh yeah. Scene five. I'm tellin' ya, I was already sold. But watching our hot cover babe in a pseudo-American Beauty music video-esque montage, being sprinkled with black rose petals was yummy. Too bad she ruins it all once she starts having sex. This chick is trying WAAAAY too hard! Okay, honey, we get it. You're a porn star! But you ain't no Joanna Angel. Instead I focused on her co-star stunt cock, which was impressive even semi-flaccid. Sadly, this slag doesn't do a very good job of sucking it, using way more hand action than mouth application. Move over, bitch! Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, like I said, I was sold on this vid before I even got to this scene, so its being fast-forward-worthy wasn't even a deal-breaker. I can't say quite why I'm such a sucker for this entire package; it's a little embarrassing. But I suppose if you add up hot babes with real tits, punk rock, phlegmy cocksucking, smeared makeup and Rob Rotten's stunning specimen of a fuck-stick, well, color me impressed! And moist! [blush] Scurvy Girls Volume 2 (Metro Interactive/Punkx Productions/Loaded Digital, 2006) Directed by Rob Rotten. Starring Roxy DeVille, Logan James, Annette Schwarz, Persia Decarlo and Phoebe (The Fucked). Rob Rotten, Donny Long, Johnny Thrust, Dick Tracy and Jay Ashley (The Fuckrs). Will Appeal To: Alternadudes with tattoos and their slutty girlfriends. Or just dudes who wish they had slutty girlfriends.
|
|
|
||
|
|
 |
|